Ugh. I am so.tired. of editing my self. I am so tired of walking on eggshells to not piss anyone off, of having a thought and thinking of ways to rephrase it so as not to hurt anyones feelings. Its mentally exhausting. I just want to fucking say what I want to say and get it out. I want to just spit out what everyone is trying to politely hint at and just flippin' say it. I feel like when I'm not blunt, when I'm gentle that everyone tunes me out, that no one listens. I just want to stand up and scream sometimes instead of apologizing for having thoughts. I think, thats what bothers me the most about not saying the things I need to say - it requires me to apologize for saying the things I do manage to say. I'm just so unbelievably tired of being nice. I'm too damn nice and I'm so over it. I don't want to be nice anymore I want to fucking say what I want to say with out the god damn filter.